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A prayer for the single state

Photo credit: https://ourdailybread.org

Being single, we experience many struggles related to our season in life; I have not been spared them. The longing of our hearts for a partner, and the ache, seem sometimes unbearable. If on top of that, you are a single parent, some of these sufferings can be doubled. From the feeling of jealousy and envy to anger and resentment, our emotions fluctuate, and the common question we ask God is: “Why? Why me?” I have learned to stop asking that question, but to be honest, it is hard not to ask it. I am guilty of so many sins during my season of singleness. I have found myself rolling my eyes, and saying in my heart, “Stupid couple” or, “Stupid kissing people,” when encountering people kissing in the park or holding hands, walking together. I hate myself every time I do this, because I know it comes from my deep desire to find a mate, and simply to have somebody to hold my hand while we walk in the park, and much more. 

During this challenging time of pandemic and exhaustion, my prayer to God was, “Please help me! Tell me what to do with these feelings.” I was doing midnight prayers for more than a month with a group of friends in a conference call. On June 26, 2020, during one of our prayer sessions, I had what I call a “Holy Spirit moment,” and I wrote a “Litany of the Single State.”

For those who may not be Catholic, a litany is a prayer or form of responsory petition used in public service and private devotion for common necessities, virtues, or praise. It is a form of prayer inspired by the Psalms, and you can read more about it here. I hope this prayer can help us all to draw closer to God, and give us all the strength to face the ups and downs that singlehood brings.

LITANY OF THE SINGLE STATE

Introductory Prayer

My Lord and my savior I come humbly to you , with an open heart and broken spirit. Please remember my prayer and grant me the grace to accept your will so that from today on, I do your will everywhere, always, and in everything.

Part I:

Rep: Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of dying alone, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of never finding a mate, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being rejected again, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of losing relationships, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of losing parenthood, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of disappointing my own parents, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being a failure because of my relationship status, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being unlovable, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of having to go through life’s ups and downs alone, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of suffering loneliness, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of letting go of the past, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of facing spiritual warfare, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of trusting others, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of having to suffer breakup, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of being destined for divorce, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of not finding someone who will accept me and my children, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the fear of not being able to provide for my children, Deliver me, Jesus.

PART II

From my pride, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the belief that I am worthless, Deliver me, Jesus.

From all bitterness, jealousy, and envy I feel when I see others getting married and having children, Deliver me, Jesus.

From all the frustrations of single life, Deliver me, Jesus.

From my desperation to find a mate, Deliver me, Jesus.

From my unwillingness to surrender to your will, Deliver me, Jesus.

From my restless love-seeking, Deliver me, Jesus.

From my desire to control everything, Deliver me, Jesus.

From my lack of trust in you, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the belief that I should live free of suffering, Deliver me, Jesus.

From all the lies I feed myself, Deliver me, Jesus.

From all my crippling beliefs and from how I talk to myself, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the selfishness of my prayers that are only focused on my needs, Deliver me, Jesus.

From my codependency and my need for validation, Deliver me, Jesus.

From my obstinacy in finding a mate by any means, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the temptation to falsify my image for the admiration and attraction of others, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the pain of heartbreak, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the belief that I am better, greater, and more beautiful than others, and therefore, should be the one getting married, Deliver me, Jesus.

From the deep sadness I feel when around my friends and family members who are all married, Deliver me, Jesus.

PART III:

Rep: Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will give me a loving heart when others bring into question my singleness, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will help me find meaning and purpose for my life, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you always work for my good, even in this season, Jesus, I trust in you.

That my accepting an unmarried vocation or a season of singleness is not a sign of failure, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will give me a place in your Church when I do not feel that I have one, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will show me how to use the gift of myself to serve others, my community, and my Church, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you feel my longing, that you weep when I weep, that you share my ache, and that you love me nonetheless, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will give me the strength to fight against lust and live a chaste life, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will protect me from enslaving pornographic images that rob me of the truth of my longing, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will remove from my life anybody who wants to use me and take advantage of me, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you still have a plan for me, even if it is not marriage, Jesus, I trust in you.

That all the relationships that I have lost were not a loss, but your way of protecting me, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will help me to forgive myself in your mercy and be free of every cycle of self-judgment and shame, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you can turn my longing for love outward to serve and love others, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will show me ways to turn my focus from myself, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you can uncover the roots of my wounds, and I can be needed, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will help me to accept even these vocations when you call: single life, religious life, ordained or lay ministry, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will still provide me time for my own needs when I provide for the needs of children, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will not forget my financial needs or the material needs of my children, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will give me the wisdom to make good decisions for my children, Jesus, I trust in you.

That my children will never feel the lack of a mother’s care, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you yourself will be the father to my children’s needs, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will lift up a faithful father figure for the life of my child, Jesus, I trust in you.

That you will surround me with family and friends who will support me in the raising of my children, Jesus, I trust in you.

That we who are adopted in you, my Christ, will not be abandoned in the world, Jesus, I trust in you.

That even if we are abandoned by the world, our hearts will never abandon you, Jesus, I trust in you.C

Article written by Blandine Kemayou

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